Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient to Doctor:The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.
 
My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him.
 
Whats the closest thing to a womans period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesnt come,everythings f~cked
 
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!
 
Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.
 
Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend go out with other guys.

A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
'' Can anyone make me feel like a woman b4 I die?''
So a man takes off his clothes n say,''Iron these!''
 
A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction
doc tells her 2 lie down and gets ready with tools
lady lifts her skirt,doc says im not a gynacologist im dentist
she says i want to get my hubbys tooth removed
 
Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?".
 
what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............
 
Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer.!!
 
Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!!
 
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."
 
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
 
Man:what is  million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second....
 
sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari ushkil main hoon mairi bivi mujh say aik kiss ka  100 RS laiti hay ..... friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay.
 
Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there.
 
A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa.

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
 
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
 
A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....